everybody's stressed out. looking for the most effective way to accomplish the greatest amount of studying in the shortest possible time. and it's left me lost, i dunno what to study. i dunno what's pushing me to keep on going. perhaps sheer dumbness and numbness. but well, cant afford to let myself down. not really disappointed with results, but then not over the moon either. it's just like i'm tired of going on a emotion roller-coaster ride, one moment sad, the next happy. so i'm just gonna try and be done with it.

can jerks and irritating idiots please stay far far away from minghui land? far away from me, far away from my friends who i care for.

learn to cope with stress, it'll be a constant companion day in day out, one fine day.

ostriches self-deluge by burying their heads in holes when they see trouble coming.. can i play peek-a-boo with exams too? lalala..

everyone's blog is turning into a wasteland.. it's evident. hmm

looking forward to year-end chalet, plus working at my mom's office, i guess i'm looking forward to anything after A levels. haha

yesterday's 5km walkathon was tiring.. but enjoyed the time with qiuling, just talking and talking..

hope i can stay off the computer, and also my handphone to get down to some serious work. =(

cheer up everyone, light's at the end of the tunnel~ =)

despondent and optimistic in just one blog alone.. i'm going mad =p

gg out for 3 consecutive days le, and my mom's just said last night, she's scared my past efforts(aka before prelims) would go down the drain. and i'm stressed again. but i've learnt to heck care, and i'll only find out about the consequences of my heck care attitude months later. but don't worry, i'll still be studying. i won't go without a fight, at least i wanna be able to say i tried. ql blogged that she's gonna take it easy this few days since it's gonna be a long road ahead. hmm but i think, it's a tough journey which will be over soon. 41 days to the battefield, and 4 weeks after that it'll be over. that'll be a short and hopefully painless war. casualties shouldn't be many, since many have gone through this and came out survivors. i aim to be one of those survivors, do i dare to hope for a medal of honour? hmm

i belive we all can do it, once we put our heart and soul to it. 12 years of hard work should never boil down to one month of exams. nevertheless, since we're already here, might as well push ourselves to make it through.

most scared of post-prelims slacking. scold mi k?

the months of endless possibilities after As.. i want to be able to enjoy it without guilt. or worry.

left with one last design paper on thurs, which means i have technically finished my exams.. haha dunno what to study for paper 5 also ma.. =p chem really is use tikam one.. maths stats ok la, but maclaurin's sux. haha

bones breaking.. haha walked very very long with gen todae..and i tell u~!! TM changed alot.. haha shocking.. it seems like everywhere's being upgraded or renovated.. hmm 0_O

5 more weeks to A levels!!!!! kinda unbelievable huh? seems like damn, it's so fast~!!!!! n it is. i muz study.. it'll be over in 9 weeks. kinda unfair ar? 2 years of work examined in 4 weeks.. and it'll decide my future. haiz. cruel world eh? no leeway for failures.

gen, jiayou for 1000 pieces puzzle~!~! hahah =D

memories, precious to u n mi =D it's been a long time since then hasn't it, dear? those times were cute, but to have u now by my side is sweeter.. love u~! =D

i died for physics. i made a bet with dayana, which i am confused and most probably have forgotten already right now. hahaha.. hmmm gek sim. but then, haiz. i dunno anymore.

3 bdae cards, cross-stitch in progress, u better buy me some kinda plants ar.. =p

weeinn mian zi da, change dae to sat.. haha =)

ql ask mi to blog abt her.. hahah which i will, right now.. =p think both of us are tired of worrying and are getting more and more optimistic lately.. which is a gd thing, isn't it? worrying tires a person out.. =) being happy makes us more radiant.. hahaha

planning post exam activities le.. muz haf sth nice to look forward to rite? =p muz book ahead if u wan mi hor.. i bz ger ar.. hahah thurs is gen dae.. fri is hong dae.. sat and sun up for grabs~! =D

tmr is phys 1 n 2. despair. =(

BUT~!! i get to see my dear~ after 11 days!!!!! wahahahahaha

yesterday's maths and physics i heard were killers.. but then perhaps the extent of damage has not yet been surveyed, or else it must have been that i'm still reeling from the double impact. haha anyway, i got no paper today, so i'm studying for chem 2 and phys 1 n 2.. supposed to be meeting dear today, but well, we changed to fri.. haha he wants me to study.. which i shall be doing now.. :P

we've travelled too far now for us to give up
press on and we'll see the fruit of our hard work
never say die and remain optimistic
it'll all be over soon=D
meanwhile take care ya?

i better see the gals after prelims, before the next round of studying starts..

there's compulsive shoppers, drug abusers, are there such people called compulsive muggers? hmm mugging jialat already lehz, compulsive mugging? **shakes head**

Virgo 12th sept

Section 1: The Inner You: Your Real Motivation
At heart you are modest and humble, and you rarely strive to be in the limelight or in a position of power. You have a sharp analytical mind, a keen eye for detail, and you prefer to observe, dissect, and study life from a distance. Conscientious and conservative, you can be relied upon to be careful, efficient, and thorough in your work and you take pride in doing a job well. What you may lack in self-confidence you often make up for in skill - developing expertise, technical knowledge, and competency in some specialized area. You are adept at using your hands to create or fix things, and meticulous attention to detail and careful craftsmanship are your forte. Some would say you are a little TOO meticulous, for you can be extremely critical and petty if everything is not done exactly as you think it should be, and you worry about things that other people consider trivial and unimportant. You like to organize, categorize, and arrange everything into a logical system, and you are often distinctly uncomfortable when something does not fit into a neat category. Disorganization vexes you. You probably wish that you were not such a perfectionist, for besides being a stickler for details, you can be mercilessly self-critical as well. Whether in your environment or in yourself, you tend to focus on the flaws, with a desire to improve, refine, and perfect. You are strictly factual, truthful, and scrupulously honest in your self-estimation, and you often do not give yourself enough praise or credit.

Section 2: Mental Interests and Abilities
You are an exacting perfectionist with a clear, logical, analytical mind and an aptitude for work that requires meticulous attention to detail and efficient organization. Well-grounded and pragmatic, you tend to develop specialized skills and technical expertise in some practical field. Knowledge, ideas, and theories don't really interest you unless they are useful in a tangible way. You are inclined to analyze, measure, and dissect everything and to miss nuances, subtle shades of feeling and meaning. Your strengths are in your precise thinking, careful craftsmanship, and mastery of technical skills. You tend to be very good at what you do and critical of others' work if it does not meet your high standards.

i'm bored la.. paisae hahah physics and maths paper tmr!!! -.-

Not Your Average Thug--Leehom

I keeps it versatile, cause that's my style
From hip-hop to be-bop
I been with shorties round the world Variety is just my personality
Sometimes I just don't fit in I see open doorways
But no one wants to let me in
Grandma made me understand material things don't make the man
Try to find that inner wealth and learn to love yourself
Lately it's so hard to find peace of mind
I just gotta get away from the hater and the instigators
The mis-conceivers and the non-believers
People don't believe the hype 'cause Leehom ain't no stereotype

No Crystale in the tub Or iced out Spreewell clubs
I'm really not your average thug Not your average gangster
And i won't be defined by the size of my knot But the state of my mind
No Rolex on my wrist Or platinum on my chest
'Cause I don't need that sh to impress
But ya'll don't get it twisted I got love for the ghetto
Tho I'm not your average thug

(Feel me) Lord I been around the world
Singin' near and far
People runnin' game all over
Judgin' me before we meet When they see me on the street
And they don't know a damn thing about me
It's a world of jealousy deceit and envy
Seems like everybody tryin' to take something from me
Grandma made me understand material things don't make the man
So I found that inner wealth and learned to love myself
Lately it's so hard to find peace of mind (lately it's so hard)
I just gotta get away from the hater and the instigators
There's back-stabbers and money grabbers, users and abusers and they all wear smilin' faces

Sometimes I feel like I'm gonna snap, and go off up in this place on somebody
I ain't tryin' to say no names, but I ain't tryin' to play no games, holla if you feel me people
Lately it's so hard to find peace of mind, so lift me up in a lonely world that's so unkind
There's back-stabbers and money-grabbers, users and abusers and they all wear smilin' faces

No Crystale in the tub Or iced out Spreewell clubs
I'm really not your average thug Not your average gangster
And i won't be defined by the size of my knot But the state of my mind
No Rolex on my wrist Or platinum on my chest
'Cause I don't need that sh to impress
But ya'll don't get it twisted I got love for the ghetto
Tho I'm not your average thug

( Shorties I just need that ghetto love
Take a dip in my jacuzzi
Don't misjudge me 'cause I'm my own man now
Sometimes I don't even wear no watch
Everybody needs some ghetto love
see, I'm not your average thug)

18 yrs old todae~!! haha

received many birthday wishes from friends who stole time out to sms me and wish me all the best.. an unexpected birthday card also left me feeling touched. perhaps i'm growing old and sentimental.. but i do treasure these little acts that show that my friends care and remember.. =) thanks to all who've been in my life!

at a crucial time like this, when tomorrow's the prelims, to remember my birthday is an especially sweet thing, and hence i'm touched.. haha 3 people sms me around 12mn to wish me happy birthday, think they must still be studying hard at that hour.. well, studies are important, but please remember to take care of your health..

continue to jiayou~ we're almost there^-^ !!!!!

countdown... ah~! =O

gen is at my hse right now~! and she's eating.. hahaha =p we went and bought lotsa things at the prime mart behind my house la. i think everytime someone wants to study at my house, prime mart will earn lotsa money. hahahha all thanks to us~! =D

just read one mail sent by tingyan, with an address linking to that stripper in yellow undies on singapore idol. wa! see le can puke man~!~! puke puke puke~! vomit blood. that guy is definitely sick in the head, with an ultra huge ego, and he sure never look into the mirror before, otherwise how can he think himself a hunk? omg.

gen asked, between a rich ok-looking guy who you dun love, and a ok-looking not rich guy who you love, who would you choose? at least i think that's her question la. cos i got short term memory again. haha

mugging is not a term invented for me,i have never been known to comply to the meaning of mug. that is for the extremists. which sadly i am not. hmm perhaps converting to a full-time mugger will allow me to have better grades. but it's hard to convert. cos.. I'M LAZY~! i have the means to achieve my goal, but i lack the will. haiz. sigh. blea.

no one to blame but myself. hmm.

but i'm not down. eternal optimism yeah?~! =)

i am afraid to step into adulthood. can i be a kidult too? i dream that adulthood would be some kinda paradise, when i can zip off to anywhere in the world for my dream holiday. to me, the future seems to yield happier times, but what if it will not be the case? grr *growing dread* i'm becoming 18~!!!

2 things were on my mind last night. but one i have already forgotten. haha nevermind. the one i remember has something to do with the last page article in Time magazine. it was a father lamenting that his daughter is growing up too fast. it struck a chord within me. well, how should i say it? many years ago, fathers are sterotyped as wanting only sons, to carry on the family line. they dote on sons more, pampering them with the sort of treatment daughters will never get. and now, it seems things have changed.

once, at my mum and dad's workplace, one of their colleagues asked me " your father dotes on you more right? and your mum dotes on your brother more?" that set me thinking... is it true? since then, i've read many articles celebrating the unique bond of fathers and daughters. perhaps it is due to the fact that these articles erase the stereotype that fathers love sons and not daughters, but whatever it is, they caught my attention.

i personally feel that my father is not biased in loving me or my brother. but sometimes i do feel that he does dote on me more. and i am proud, in the knowledge that i've not let him down, the one man who frets constantly for our health and well-being. and i hope as i grow up, i will only make him prouder, not less.

all the articles i read include the father's aching pain in his heart when he realises that his girl has grown up into a woman, and will no longer sit in his lap listening to bedtime stories. the daughter has an independent mind of her own and will often not listen to him. i know this is happening to me too, but every now and then, i hug my dad goodnight to let him know that no matter what, i'll always be his daughter, the little girl who grows up to be a woman who loves him with all her heart.

i did sth to irritate and tease dear juz nw..hee but i noe i'm insensitive.. i dunno.. he saes i do it becos i'm angry wif him. but i dunno. violent mood swings. not due to pms. so maybe i am angry at sth someone. but i juz dunno hu. everything will be better tmr~! =) but i c dear's pek cek face i still wanna laugh.. =p hee hee~ =p

does apple go wif strawberry?? ya i guess they do, so long as tt's the wae u and i like it =D

love u~!

this is a period of trial. and everyone's coping with it the best they can. evan typed a crazy atypical blog, qiuling expressed irritation with someone and i got unreasonable with gen. i dunno what happened. i didn't even realise it till gen asked "what's wrong with you? angry with me today ar?" then i felt guilty. haiz. didn't mean to be so grouchy.sorry gen. =)

10 days left to prelims? hmm wanna do something to salvage my slacking situation but then i know it's kinda fruitless. oh well. cheer up and buck up. determination is all i need.

i'm a person who is easily affected by the people or state of things around me. and i dun like it. feels like i dun have a fixed mind of my own. haiz. perhaps i'm just too kiasee to stick up for my own decision. i dun like going back and forth on one decision. but i often do it, only to further agonise myself. haiz. what the hell am i doing? dunno myself anymore..

we travel to lose ourselves, and subsequently, to find ourselves. feel so much like travelling now. anywhere would be ok.

i cant contact sc.. i dunno where he is.. i dunno if he's alright. and it's driving me crazy.

bz nite yesterday..but it was great to see old frens again.. =D reached home at 1230am..haha after dinner at cartel from 5pm to 8pm..followed by supper at block 85 market till 11pm then off to simei to meet evan for one hour.. hahah after that dear came to simei to send me home..

nice to see mindan after so long,but abit sad that joyce got held up and couldn't come. sadder still to hear what evan said when i met her.. she would have gladly been there, but.. haiz. nvm la.. hopefully as time goes by, people learn to forgive and forget. =)

n i guess i'm never gonna see tingyan or shell or baoying till after As..hmmm and i miss talking to them sia..

to make dear travel to and fro kallang and punggol i feel so bad.. cos it makes him tired, and the distance is so far lor. but he insists and i do wanna c him, so ya =) hee..

11 days to being 18~!
n 12 days to prelims!!!!!!